I had a moment of clarity today. It was literally one moment. It lasted for mere seconds but luckily it felt so real, it stuck with me. It is going to sound entirely too simple. I know this. But it just may be the key -- the key to happiness, to peace.

So, as I walked into my classroom today, I realized that everything is perfect exactly as it is. It was a simple thought that hit me like an all-knowing anvil dropping from the sky. Now, I have heard this said before. Of course, I always thought it was crap. I even thought it was a copout for settling for the things in life that we don’t like. I didn’t want to hear it. I thought about what that meant for me. For example, “Oh, I can’t afford to go on vacation, but I should just be happy staying home. Or my relationship is irritating me but instead of fixing it, I should just accept it and ignore what I don’t like.” I was having no part of this philosophy, even though it was presented to me over and over again.

Today, clarity. (Oh please let me hold onto to this for more than a few hours!) I’m grappling for a way to explain this. It was as if my head was opened and information was dumped in, a sort of ‘knowing’ without words. So I am digging for my own.

If I relate this to my goals for the year it may help. So I said I wanted to find a romantic relationship. I still believe there are advantages to sharing your life with someone. But today, I realize it is just as perfect at this moment to share my life with – well, the people I’m sharing my life with right now. I realize that some things would change if I were to be in a romantic relationship. For one, I’d spend more time with that person. Well, right now, I feel like there already aren’t enough hours in the day for the time I want to get in with the people I care about. I am doing something all the time with my son, friends, and family. And I am having so much fun. The reality is that if I started a romantic relationship that would change somewhat. Now, this doesn’t mean I don’t WANT one, but it means why LOOK for one. I think if I am doing my thing, and I happen across someone I want to spend more time with, then I simply will. Why would I ever put thought toward NOT having a romantic relationship when if I just focus on right NOW, everything is perfect? Oh, the power of NOW!!

I want a lot of money. Well, so if I had a lot of money, I probably wouldn’t have gone to work today. If I hadn’t gone to work, I wouldn’t have seen my students. And every day I learn from them, I laugh with them. This day would be different. And why not just love it for what it is. And just what if I actually said something that stuck with them – that helped them! :-) Ha ha! They would’ve missed out on that experience. Today is perfect.

I think the key is to put the intentions out there; visualize something you want; expect to get it; know you are the ultimate creator of your life – know that you even control the outside influences; and then just let it go. Have faith that it works – you desire it and because the Universe is so brilliantly designed, everything aligns and it comes to you. And then just smile at how things are, because they really are perfect. You are learning from something right now. You are influencing someone. You are changing. Even the hard things are gifts. Nothing is wrong – even if you perceive it as wrong right now, but you are learning appreciation from it. All of it is perfect. It really is. It really, truly is.

"Life is largely a matter of expectation." Horace
Today I want to talk about expectations. I think expectations are ultimately what create our experience. I have stated that thoughts become our reality, but in truth, I don’t believe every day random thoughts create much of anything. Continual thoughts with emotion behind them lead to beliefs, and beliefs generate our expectations. And, I believe, expectations are the building blocks of our very lives.

This weekend was a good example of this for me. I believe that I am very lucky. By lucky, I don’t mean accidental good things happen to me. I mean that I cause good things to happen to me. I expect good things to happen to me. I lost my debit card this weekend. I never panicked about this. I just knew it would be found and all would be fine. I expected it to turn out that way. Someone found my debit card and took it to my bank. Isn’t that amazing? I love people. It is one thing to find a card and just not use it, but to return it to the bank is really exceptional. I am so grateful. I knew all along it would turn out fine, but I’m always thankful for the generosity and good nature of people.

Years ago I used my thoughts to create this reality. I told myself over and over that I was very lucky. I would turn the radio off in the car and I would repeat this to myself over and over. I eventually believed I was lucky and I expected good things to happen to me. I can think of countless instances of how this paid off for me. Here are some examples:

*I was by myself, driving from Indiana to California (adventurous me!). At 2AM, I was in that stretch of Kansas or Utah or somewhere where very few people inhabit. I locked my keys in my car at a gas station. No AAA, closest friend three states away. As I stood there and scratched my head, a locksmith pulled up to the pump next to me!

*I needed a place to live, and I didn’t have much to spend per month. I got a call from a friend who found me a beautiful place to live, great location, great neighbors, huge rooms, fully furnished, for incredibly cheap! Really, crazy cheap!

*I won an eye surgery to correct my vision!

*I won a 42”, flat screen, plasma TV at a Super bowl Party!

*My son and I were in the Atlanta airport when they grounded tons of planes because they needed to be inspected. A door had fallen off of a plane earlier in the day. It was awful! So my son and I were in a line – hundreds of people in front of us, hundreds of people behind us. A gentleman came out of no where, offered us a Preferred Member pass, and we were the last two people on one of the very few planes leaving Atlanta that night!

I have way too many of these stories to list here. But I want you to think about your expectations. If they aren’t what you want them to be, then drill new thoughts in your head until you begin to believe them. Your expectations will follow your beliefs. Expect it and it will be reflected in your physical experience. I believe good things happen to me. And, therefore, they do!! So now it is time for me to go bigger! I expect to succeed at producing something spectacular this year! You with me?? :-)

Continuing my last post…I didn’t always see beauty in everyone. I’ve spent probably the last four or five years, trying to tap into a part of me that is bigger. My soul, maybe? The part of me that is all-knowing, that is all love? I believe that there is a broader ‘me’ that holds all of my knowledge, and this part of me is my direct connection with a greater understanding. Its okay if you don’t have this belief, I can’t say I have any real evidence of it, other than it feels like the truth to me.

So, I’ve spent all this time meditating and asking for clear communication from the ‘broader me’. And I think by intending to “listen” to a greater version of me, I’ve tapped into something incredible. And at the same time, I also started to feel more love and see more beauty in all things, even what I’d label, prior to this change, as “ugly” things. I think by intending to communicate with my Higher Self and intend to gain something from doing so, I changed. I changed in many positive ways. Namely, and the point of today’s blog, is that I started to love more and to judge less.

I mentioned in my last post that I believe we are all ONE. I won’t elaborate too much on this right now because I’m not sure I understand it enough to offer a clear picture. I don't think that we are separate, but a simpler explanation, for me, is that we are all made of the same fabric. We came from the same beginnings and we are heading toward the same goal. By that, I mean we are all trying to BECOME. We are all expanding and growing. We all want love and joy. I think we are all working toward that – there are just endless ways to get there. And once I realized we are all just trying to be happy and I saw beauty in the variety of paths we are taking to get there, I started seeing a lot more beauty, and casting a lot fewer judgments.

What if everyone looked at each other and saw beauty like I saw when I looked at the ATM woman (from the previous post); wouldn’t the world be a better place? Oh, what if? And what if everyone knew that their path to greater joy was perfect and so is everyone else’s. Oh, wouldn’t that be great? Wouldn’t there be more respect and love and security? I think so. This is my truth. This is how I choose to see it. And this is how I AM slowly creating my own Heaven on Earth. :-)

I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a few days. Sometimes life happens and I get caught up! :)

So, today I’d like to talk about how I see good in everyone. I believe this ties into my spiritual connection from within. I am trying to be honest with myself and throwing all sorts of scenarios around in my head, so I can admit it if I just see good in some people and not others. But, I think that in this area, I have grown considerably in the last few years, and I can honestly say that I see good in everyone. It isn’t as though I can’t see when someone is acting “bad” or “mean” or any of those negative terms we use. I can see it, but still, when I look at the person, I still see good. It sounds so simple to say, but I think this is monumental really.

Also, so often throughout my day, I watch people and I see beauty. The waiter, the cashier, the mechanic, the librarian… I really do see beauty in all of them. I was at the ATM the other day. I was behind this old pickup truck. This woman got out of the passenger door. She had on an old flannel shirt and faded blue jeans. I don’t think she spent much, if any, time looking in the mirror before she left the house. I watched her and I thought she was so beautiful. And I wanted to tell her, but I was in my car, and I realized she may think that I was being insincere. I realized that perhaps I could see more beauty in her than she could see herself. Maybe not. I hope not. I know it sounds too corny to be true, and it isn’t that way 100% of the time, but most of the time, it is true, I see the beauty in all things, especially living things, most especially people.

I’m going to elaborate more on this tomorrow; how my desire to tap into some spiritual guidance from within coincided with seeing beauty in people. I think I’m very slowly coming to the understanding that we are all one. That is so hard to wrap your brain around at first, I think. But maybe when you are getting closer to conceptualizing this, you see beauty in everyone, because you know they are also you. When I think about this for a while, it feels like my brain is tangled in knots! But perhaps the very fabric of our natures, of who we are and what we come from, is all connected. Perhaps we are all ONE.

One of the simpler goals I set this year was to surround myself with more good people. I’m actually so blessed in this area. I don’t have much work to do here because I have been working at this my entire life! People are what matter to me. I crave those deep belly laughs where you have to hold onto your knees so you don’t fall! You just can’t get those when you are by yourself (and if you can, drop me a note and tell me how!). I love sitting around with friends and family, smiling so much I have to massage my cheekbones so they don’t cramp. I even love hanging out with strangers. I’ve been known to go to a pub in a city at happy hour, order a Guinness (so it will seem like the longest afternoon in my life when I have to choke down two! Sorry, Guinness lovers!), and spend the afternoon getting to know all the people who are bellied up to the bar with me! Good people, who want to share their stories, can be found nearly anywhere when you look. :)

I have figured out that loving the company of others also requires some discernment. For those people who get more of my time than a day at the pub :), I insist they feed my soul. There have been periods in my life where I’ve looked around and realized I’m being judged by the very people who I consider friends. So much so, that oftentimes I didn't even feel comfortable being myself. These days I tend to quickly rectify that – but occasionally I hold on to a bad situation for entirely too long – at an unexplainable attempt to make it better if I put enough energy and time into it. If you’re wondering, this doesn’t work. Heaven knows I should have this lesson learned by now, but I’m not guaranteeing that!

However, surely, I have learned something in my years on earth, so these are my words of wisdom for the day. :) Your best friends should be your mirrors that reflect your goodness back to you.

My best friends (and Mom) see the best in me. They really do. When I am with them, I feel it. They really believe in me. They even believe in me when I’m not sure I believe in myself. I can be in a ditch, on my back, with no plan for how to get out -- and here they come, ladder in hand. And as they haul my butt out, they place no judgment, they caste no stones. They always, always look at me and see goodness; so honestly that they remind me when I am incapable of seeing it myself. I know these kinds of friends are rare and incredible blessings. I even know some people don’t have this. So how do you get these friendships if you don’t have them? Or more of these friendships should you desire more?

Give it. It’s as simple as that.

I want more this year. My plan?? I will offer it more.

I think it’ll work. :)

And PS, know you are worthy. See yourself in love with life, then all of the sudden; you’re in love with all of those around you. And that is a good thing.

Save you some time, maybe!

So, today I promised to tell you what I’ve figured out in relation to body image (but I think it could be applied to nearly everything!). And, as mentioned yesterday, I think I have spent enough time and energy on the subject to qualify as experienced!

I believe the key to obtaining anything you want is to set a clear intention, have faith in yourself as the designer of your life, have faith that what you produce on the inside (your mind) will be projected on the outside (your physical experience) if you hold the intent for long enough, but most importantly, in my opinion, is to listen to yourself so you can actually get to where you are trying to go! As it turns out, trying to lie to yourself gets you absolutely nowhere!!

You see, I tried lying to myself for a few years. (Yeah, I’m not joking.) I would eat ridiculous amounts of food, barely exercise, and then look in the mirror for the amazing results! I would say the words, “I can eat four plates of spaghetti and not gain weight!” But in my head, that little tiny voice that I tried to drown out with spaghetti sauce was nagging me about eating irresponsibly and being lazy. I would tell myself I’ll only exercise if it miraculously becomes fun, and I’ll eat whatever I like -- because that is what I WANT. But in truth, I wasn’t even close to believing any of that yet!

I honestly believe that my thoughts become my life. I was just failing miserably at changing my thoughts to produce new beliefs. Sure, I had a few thoughts on the surface about eating whatever I liked, but the deep down 'Sponsoring thoughts' that I really had -- were exactly the opposite! As Joe Dispenza describes a million times better than I can in Evolve Your Brain, I clearly and thoroughly programmed my brain to think I had to eat a certain way and exercise a lot too. Picture this, I start obsessing about diet and exercise about twenty years ago. So daily, for twenty years, I think these thoughts so often that, through repetition, I create this incredibly thick nerve pathway. I think about this so much that I create a superhighway of synaptic circuits. And then, 20 years down the road, my neural network related to diet and exercise is so ingrained and solid, that I don’t have to put any effort at all toward having these thoughts. I have to actually re-train my brain completely to have new ideas about food and my body! (Which is possible, so don’t be discouraged. :) But this makes it more obvious why changing your mind about some things isn't as easy as changing the channel on the tv!)

I guess for a long time I didn’t understand this. I just thought I would lie to myself. I would say the words I wanted to hear, “I can eat whatever I want.”(and ignore how I felt) until I believed it. But maybe I can save you some time here. I realized that even with the best intentions, changing my thoughts about food and exercise would take some time and effort. So I decided to work WITH my internal voice (or gut feeling), instead of trying to drown it out! I actually consider it glorious communication from a wiser part of me that will guide me if I simply listen. For me, this communication often comes in ‘gut feelings’, so I started using my gut a gauge of my current beliefs.

And after I figured this out, an amazing thing happened. -- I still held the intention that I can change my beliefs. I still held onto faith that I am a remarkable creator. I still knew I had control of my life experience. I just chose to work with myself where I am now. I realized I was wanting to jump from A to Z, but my gut (or inner voice) was trying to help me get there in the only way possible, from A to B to C to D…you get my point. So, once the light bulb clicked on, and I started trusting my gut feelings, I started going to the gym again because I admitted I actually LIKE the gym. And guess what, it’s fun and I love it! And guess what else, I burn so many calories that I really can pretty much eat whatever I want and I still look good! Go figure! So you see, I am slowly changing my beliefs to the ones that I want! It is working like magic! I wanted to exercise only when if it was fun and I wanted to eat what I want! And here I am!

I really think I am onto something here. :)

I may never completely stop worrying about food and exercise, but I’m in a great place. I love the exercise I do, I eat what I like, and I wouldn’t trade my body for any other in the world! Honestly. And I finally figured out I can’t lie to myself or jump straight from A to Z! You see, I started listening to my inner guidance from within, and not only do I see the body I want in the mirror, I am also one step closer to having my ideal life! Amazing. :)