“I am SO happy! My life is perfect! I couldn’t possibly ask for more! I am healthy! I see good in all people and living creatures! I see the beauty in nature! I appreciate every single little thing about right here and right now! I am present! I have everything I could ever want or need! I am so lucky that I have work that I love and that returns so much to me! I am so lucky that I have so much free time to spend with my son, my friends, and my family! I have the best son in the world who gives me opportunities daily to prove to myself that I am a loving, patient, kind mother! I am so in love! I have the best partner in the world who treats me like a queen and gives me opportunities daily to show myself what a great partner I can be too. No one can ever hurt me! I am full of energy! I am never bored! I am beautiful! I can eat whatever I want and still be healthy and pretty! I am getting younger! My home is so perfect for me and my family! I am intuitive and I am always guided in the right direction! And I actually pay attention to the guidance, thank goodness! I AM SO EXCITED!!! How did I find so many great people to share this experience?? I am the luckiest person in the entire world! Life is good! Life is so much better than good!”

This is what I try to do every day. It only takes a few minutes and I actually feel very excited when I write this. (How can I not with all those exclamation points?) I can actually feel the vibration in my body rising and the happiness increasing. I can feel physical effects and I am simply talking to myself. Incredible! And what if there is such thing as the Law of Attraction – then I have just started attracting a whole lot more happiness! Sometimes what I write isn’t actually something I am experiencing NOW. However, I always speak as though it is. And honestly, 90% of what is written above is a reality of my life. Some of it wasn’t always, but I have been saying these statements for a long time. I never gave up even when there was no evidence of it in front of me. And now I have some things I never ever thought I’d have. Five minutes a day – that is all it takes. Sometimes I spend a little more time fantasizing about certain aspects of these as I drive in the car or wash dishes, but I still consider it FUN!

Try it! It may just work like I think it does!

Sorry it's been so long since my last post!

Wow, am I the worst blogger in the world, or what? :) I have thought about posting every day. But I have just been caught up in life and I haven’t found the time! The good news is that I AM creating Heaven on Earth, I really am. I am so incredibly happy and blessed that I have no complaints at all. Life is good. And in the process of this creation, I have acquired some insights. Hopefully these will inspire you if I share! :)

I have read over and over and over that by actually wanting something, you push it away. I understood the concept. The popular theory, the Law of Attraction, states that 'like attracts like' or more specifically like feelings are attracted to other like feelings. So if you feel happy then you attract more happy feelings. If you feel wealthy, you attract more wealth, etc. So it makes sense that if you WANT something, then you are feeling like you don’t have it – or else you wouldn’t WANT it! So you are feeling the lack of it or you are feeling the wanting of it, both of which are not having it. Right? I mean, I get it. But how to you get stuff you want if you can’t WANT it?? Wow, the tough questions!!

I guess I didn’t know the answer. I practiced lying to myself or trying to fool myself that I already had something I wanted. I can’t honestly report that this works – although I am not giving up on trying. I didn’t really like the idea of just not wanting it – because I obviously want it!!

I also practice appreciating all I have in hopes that I will attract more things that I appreciate. I think this may be effective because I sure do appreciate so much in my life and it seems like more and more appears in my life daily that I appreciate greatly.

But the insight I have found recently is slightly different, and I’m not entirely sure it is encouraging, EXCEPT that I may be gaining understanding of how to actually control/create my life! I have found recently that the things I want…the things that I remember at a very specific time thinking, “I really want…” but then I didn’t really think too much about it again. Or the things that I really wanted but I gave up on. Those things seem to magically appear!

Let me give you two examples. I remember standing in my bathroom and thinking for just a moment that I wish I had more friends to do things with when I don’t have my son. It was almost fleeting. I wasn’t stressed or upset about it. I just put a desire out there and I didn’t fight against it by worrying about it and attracting more worrying about it. And now, within the past two months, I have so many great friends that I can’t even find enough time for all of them! Hence, no blogging recently!

Secondly, I had decided that I was good alone. I've always felt like I didn’t need a partner to make me happy – and there is truth to that. But I was always looking and hoping, I guess. But one day I was just good with it, you know? I guess I was just at peace with where I am and I had no concern with being in a different place. Then, almost immediately, it was as if doors to love just opened up! It is almost like I literally had this force field holding away what I wanted until I didn’t want it anymore.

So I know this sounds discouraging because people don’t want to give up wanting what they want, but I’m going to offer the solution that I have found effective. (I have also read this countless times.) Have faith. Have enough faith in the Universe, in God (if you choose to use that word – I use the term God as in the All That Is, the Source of Everything). Trust in the creative process and in yourself (who is, in actuality, a piece of God). Have faith that this is how it all works. I think Jesus, and the Buddha, and other such masters, understood that we are all fragments of God, of the ultimate creative source. We were sent here to play and learn and make things! And if we just believed in our power, we’d create them a whole lot quicker, and we could move on to creating even greater things! So that is my advice of the day. As Jesus said, “Knock at the door and it shall be opened. Ask and you shall receive.” I’m not trying to preach here – I’m just saying maybe he was onto something! :) Put the desire out there and have faith you'll get it, and you will end up creating your Heaven on Earth!! You don't have to WANT what you already have -- and if you're faith in you (and my faith in me) was strong enough, we'd understand that just by asking for it, it is already given to us. We never have to want again! How is that for the beauty of the Universe?

Have control over your thoughts. I can pretty much guarantee that this is what those we deem as “masters” have that the rest of us don’t! And how do the do it? They pay attention to what they think and they meditate! I know that I have personally been failing miserably at this recently. I find myself realizing the nonsense that is running around in my mind and I say, “Why? Why am I wasting energy and time on these thoughts!?”

I believe the hardest part of creating a life you want is being aware of your thoughts and having control over your thoughts. Pause throughout your day and pay attention to what you are thinking about. It is quite interesting. I know half the time I am thinking about something I should have done, or I need to do. Or I’m thinking about other people’s business. Or maybe I am replaying last night’s events or thinking about a TV show I watched. Nonsense! It is all nonsense!!

And why is my mind running wild with garbage? I believe it’s because I’ve been all wrapped up in my dramas lately and haven’t taken the time to meditate much. As a matter of fact, I am so involved in my dramas that I find it nearly impossible to quiet my mind TO meditate!

And I can tell you that I have significantly more nonsense clogging my brain when I don’t meditate. My regular routine (when I am disciplined) is to meditate for 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening. Now I could write for days about meditation. I think it is a VERY important topic.

Let me explain to you my process and how mediation benefits me on a physical level. One, it really does slow down the mindless chatter that invades my head all the time. I have read this is worse for women because we have a larger corpus callosum, so there is a greater connection between the two hemispheres of the brain. Meaning that there is ALWAYS something rattling around in our brains! And if we can turn it off, it came with MUCH practice.

So here’s my process: I exercise, or at least do some yoga stretches. This helps tremendously. Why? I don’t know. But the yogis are on to something. Next, I relax my body. I used to have this elaborate process where I had to lay flat, picture my toes turning to sand and blowing away in the wind or visualizing my legs turning to water and washing away. I’d do that all the way to the top of my head, until I literally could not feel my body. I have practiced meditation so much that I can just sit down (if I don’t have an impeding drama I can’t shut off in my mind), take few deep breaths, and fall into a meditative state quite easily. My hearing is more acute and I cannot feel the rest of my body. You know you are in a meditative state when you cannot feel your body. Now, you may feel one part of your body. For example, you may feel like you are all hand or all head. I usually feel like I am behind my forehead. It sounds odd, but it is a very pleasant feeling. It can feel very much like having a buzz. I believe this is why people have called meditation a “wise high”. I often get a distorted physical sensation that could be similar to being high. Not that I would know!

Additionally, meditation can be likened to a buzz because it helps you focus on the present. This is so incredible important and so incredible challenging. I think most of us realize that nothing matters other than this present moment. And most of us are missing it. Our head is dancing with the garbage clogging our minds and we are missing the present moment. Meditation is like the Drano. I am going to talk more about this next time. For now, I’m going to stretch, sit in the lotus position, and get out the meditation Drano!! It is time for the nonsense to get washed down the drain!

I had a moment of clarity today. It was literally one moment. It lasted for mere seconds but luckily it felt so real, it stuck with me. It is going to sound entirely too simple. I know this. But it just may be the key -- the key to happiness, to peace.

So, as I walked into my classroom today, I realized that everything is perfect exactly as it is. It was a simple thought that hit me like an all-knowing anvil dropping from the sky. Now, I have heard this said before. Of course, I always thought it was crap. I even thought it was a copout for settling for the things in life that we don’t like. I didn’t want to hear it. I thought about what that meant for me. For example, “Oh, I can’t afford to go on vacation, but I should just be happy staying home. Or my relationship is irritating me but instead of fixing it, I should just accept it and ignore what I don’t like.” I was having no part of this philosophy, even though it was presented to me over and over again.

Today, clarity. (Oh please let me hold onto to this for more than a few hours!) I’m grappling for a way to explain this. It was as if my head was opened and information was dumped in, a sort of ‘knowing’ without words. So I am digging for my own.

If I relate this to my goals for the year it may help. So I said I wanted to find a romantic relationship. I still believe there are advantages to sharing your life with someone. But today, I realize it is just as perfect at this moment to share my life with – well, the people I’m sharing my life with right now. I realize that some things would change if I were to be in a romantic relationship. For one, I’d spend more time with that person. Well, right now, I feel like there already aren’t enough hours in the day for the time I want to get in with the people I care about. I am doing something all the time with my son, friends, and family. And I am having so much fun. The reality is that if I started a romantic relationship that would change somewhat. Now, this doesn’t mean I don’t WANT one, but it means why LOOK for one. I think if I am doing my thing, and I happen across someone I want to spend more time with, then I simply will. Why would I ever put thought toward NOT having a romantic relationship when if I just focus on right NOW, everything is perfect? Oh, the power of NOW!!

I want a lot of money. Well, so if I had a lot of money, I probably wouldn’t have gone to work today. If I hadn’t gone to work, I wouldn’t have seen my students. And every day I learn from them, I laugh with them. This day would be different. And why not just love it for what it is. And just what if I actually said something that stuck with them – that helped them! :-) Ha ha! They would’ve missed out on that experience. Today is perfect.

I think the key is to put the intentions out there; visualize something you want; expect to get it; know you are the ultimate creator of your life – know that you even control the outside influences; and then just let it go. Have faith that it works – you desire it and because the Universe is so brilliantly designed, everything aligns and it comes to you. And then just smile at how things are, because they really are perfect. You are learning from something right now. You are influencing someone. You are changing. Even the hard things are gifts. Nothing is wrong – even if you perceive it as wrong right now, but you are learning appreciation from it. All of it is perfect. It really is. It really, truly is.

"Life is largely a matter of expectation." Horace
Today I want to talk about expectations. I think expectations are ultimately what create our experience. I have stated that thoughts become our reality, but in truth, I don’t believe every day random thoughts create much of anything. Continual thoughts with emotion behind them lead to beliefs, and beliefs generate our expectations. And, I believe, expectations are the building blocks of our very lives.

This weekend was a good example of this for me. I believe that I am very lucky. By lucky, I don’t mean accidental good things happen to me. I mean that I cause good things to happen to me. I expect good things to happen to me. I lost my debit card this weekend. I never panicked about this. I just knew it would be found and all would be fine. I expected it to turn out that way. Someone found my debit card and took it to my bank. Isn’t that amazing? I love people. It is one thing to find a card and just not use it, but to return it to the bank is really exceptional. I am so grateful. I knew all along it would turn out fine, but I’m always thankful for the generosity and good nature of people.

Years ago I used my thoughts to create this reality. I told myself over and over that I was very lucky. I would turn the radio off in the car and I would repeat this to myself over and over. I eventually believed I was lucky and I expected good things to happen to me. I can think of countless instances of how this paid off for me. Here are some examples:

*I was by myself, driving from Indiana to California (adventurous me!). At 2AM, I was in that stretch of Kansas or Utah or somewhere where very few people inhabit. I locked my keys in my car at a gas station. No AAA, closest friend three states away. As I stood there and scratched my head, a locksmith pulled up to the pump next to me!

*I needed a place to live, and I didn’t have much to spend per month. I got a call from a friend who found me a beautiful place to live, great location, great neighbors, huge rooms, fully furnished, for incredibly cheap! Really, crazy cheap!

*I won an eye surgery to correct my vision!

*I won a 42”, flat screen, plasma TV at a Super bowl Party!

*My son and I were in the Atlanta airport when they grounded tons of planes because they needed to be inspected. A door had fallen off of a plane earlier in the day. It was awful! So my son and I were in a line – hundreds of people in front of us, hundreds of people behind us. A gentleman came out of no where, offered us a Preferred Member pass, and we were the last two people on one of the very few planes leaving Atlanta that night!

I have way too many of these stories to list here. But I want you to think about your expectations. If they aren’t what you want them to be, then drill new thoughts in your head until you begin to believe them. Your expectations will follow your beliefs. Expect it and it will be reflected in your physical experience. I believe good things happen to me. And, therefore, they do!! So now it is time for me to go bigger! I expect to succeed at producing something spectacular this year! You with me?? :-)

Continuing my last post…I didn’t always see beauty in everyone. I’ve spent probably the last four or five years, trying to tap into a part of me that is bigger. My soul, maybe? The part of me that is all-knowing, that is all love? I believe that there is a broader ‘me’ that holds all of my knowledge, and this part of me is my direct connection with a greater understanding. Its okay if you don’t have this belief, I can’t say I have any real evidence of it, other than it feels like the truth to me.

So, I’ve spent all this time meditating and asking for clear communication from the ‘broader me’. And I think by intending to “listen” to a greater version of me, I’ve tapped into something incredible. And at the same time, I also started to feel more love and see more beauty in all things, even what I’d label, prior to this change, as “ugly” things. I think by intending to communicate with my Higher Self and intend to gain something from doing so, I changed. I changed in many positive ways. Namely, and the point of today’s blog, is that I started to love more and to judge less.

I mentioned in my last post that I believe we are all ONE. I won’t elaborate too much on this right now because I’m not sure I understand it enough to offer a clear picture. I don't think that we are separate, but a simpler explanation, for me, is that we are all made of the same fabric. We came from the same beginnings and we are heading toward the same goal. By that, I mean we are all trying to BECOME. We are all expanding and growing. We all want love and joy. I think we are all working toward that – there are just endless ways to get there. And once I realized we are all just trying to be happy and I saw beauty in the variety of paths we are taking to get there, I started seeing a lot more beauty, and casting a lot fewer judgments.

What if everyone looked at each other and saw beauty like I saw when I looked at the ATM woman (from the previous post); wouldn’t the world be a better place? Oh, what if? And what if everyone knew that their path to greater joy was perfect and so is everyone else’s. Oh, wouldn’t that be great? Wouldn’t there be more respect and love and security? I think so. This is my truth. This is how I choose to see it. And this is how I AM slowly creating my own Heaven on Earth. :-)

I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a few days. Sometimes life happens and I get caught up! :)

So, today I’d like to talk about how I see good in everyone. I believe this ties into my spiritual connection from within. I am trying to be honest with myself and throwing all sorts of scenarios around in my head, so I can admit it if I just see good in some people and not others. But, I think that in this area, I have grown considerably in the last few years, and I can honestly say that I see good in everyone. It isn’t as though I can’t see when someone is acting “bad” or “mean” or any of those negative terms we use. I can see it, but still, when I look at the person, I still see good. It sounds so simple to say, but I think this is monumental really.

Also, so often throughout my day, I watch people and I see beauty. The waiter, the cashier, the mechanic, the librarian… I really do see beauty in all of them. I was at the ATM the other day. I was behind this old pickup truck. This woman got out of the passenger door. She had on an old flannel shirt and faded blue jeans. I don’t think she spent much, if any, time looking in the mirror before she left the house. I watched her and I thought she was so beautiful. And I wanted to tell her, but I was in my car, and I realized she may think that I was being insincere. I realized that perhaps I could see more beauty in her than she could see herself. Maybe not. I hope not. I know it sounds too corny to be true, and it isn’t that way 100% of the time, but most of the time, it is true, I see the beauty in all things, especially living things, most especially people.

I’m going to elaborate more on this tomorrow; how my desire to tap into some spiritual guidance from within coincided with seeing beauty in people. I think I’m very slowly coming to the understanding that we are all one. That is so hard to wrap your brain around at first, I think. But maybe when you are getting closer to conceptualizing this, you see beauty in everyone, because you know they are also you. When I think about this for a while, it feels like my brain is tangled in knots! But perhaps the very fabric of our natures, of who we are and what we come from, is all connected. Perhaps we are all ONE.

One of the simpler goals I set this year was to surround myself with more good people. I’m actually so blessed in this area. I don’t have much work to do here because I have been working at this my entire life! People are what matter to me. I crave those deep belly laughs where you have to hold onto your knees so you don’t fall! You just can’t get those when you are by yourself (and if you can, drop me a note and tell me how!). I love sitting around with friends and family, smiling so much I have to massage my cheekbones so they don’t cramp. I even love hanging out with strangers. I’ve been known to go to a pub in a city at happy hour, order a Guinness (so it will seem like the longest afternoon in my life when I have to choke down two! Sorry, Guinness lovers!), and spend the afternoon getting to know all the people who are bellied up to the bar with me! Good people, who want to share their stories, can be found nearly anywhere when you look. :)

I have figured out that loving the company of others also requires some discernment. For those people who get more of my time than a day at the pub :), I insist they feed my soul. There have been periods in my life where I’ve looked around and realized I’m being judged by the very people who I consider friends. So much so, that oftentimes I didn't even feel comfortable being myself. These days I tend to quickly rectify that – but occasionally I hold on to a bad situation for entirely too long – at an unexplainable attempt to make it better if I put enough energy and time into it. If you’re wondering, this doesn’t work. Heaven knows I should have this lesson learned by now, but I’m not guaranteeing that!

However, surely, I have learned something in my years on earth, so these are my words of wisdom for the day. :) Your best friends should be your mirrors that reflect your goodness back to you.

My best friends (and Mom) see the best in me. They really do. When I am with them, I feel it. They really believe in me. They even believe in me when I’m not sure I believe in myself. I can be in a ditch, on my back, with no plan for how to get out -- and here they come, ladder in hand. And as they haul my butt out, they place no judgment, they caste no stones. They always, always look at me and see goodness; so honestly that they remind me when I am incapable of seeing it myself. I know these kinds of friends are rare and incredible blessings. I even know some people don’t have this. So how do you get these friendships if you don’t have them? Or more of these friendships should you desire more?

Give it. It’s as simple as that.

I want more this year. My plan?? I will offer it more.

I think it’ll work. :)

And PS, know you are worthy. See yourself in love with life, then all of the sudden; you’re in love with all of those around you. And that is a good thing.

Save you some time, maybe!

So, today I promised to tell you what I’ve figured out in relation to body image (but I think it could be applied to nearly everything!). And, as mentioned yesterday, I think I have spent enough time and energy on the subject to qualify as experienced!

I believe the key to obtaining anything you want is to set a clear intention, have faith in yourself as the designer of your life, have faith that what you produce on the inside (your mind) will be projected on the outside (your physical experience) if you hold the intent for long enough, but most importantly, in my opinion, is to listen to yourself so you can actually get to where you are trying to go! As it turns out, trying to lie to yourself gets you absolutely nowhere!!

You see, I tried lying to myself for a few years. (Yeah, I’m not joking.) I would eat ridiculous amounts of food, barely exercise, and then look in the mirror for the amazing results! I would say the words, “I can eat four plates of spaghetti and not gain weight!” But in my head, that little tiny voice that I tried to drown out with spaghetti sauce was nagging me about eating irresponsibly and being lazy. I would tell myself I’ll only exercise if it miraculously becomes fun, and I’ll eat whatever I like -- because that is what I WANT. But in truth, I wasn’t even close to believing any of that yet!

I honestly believe that my thoughts become my life. I was just failing miserably at changing my thoughts to produce new beliefs. Sure, I had a few thoughts on the surface about eating whatever I liked, but the deep down 'Sponsoring thoughts' that I really had -- were exactly the opposite! As Joe Dispenza describes a million times better than I can in Evolve Your Brain, I clearly and thoroughly programmed my brain to think I had to eat a certain way and exercise a lot too. Picture this, I start obsessing about diet and exercise about twenty years ago. So daily, for twenty years, I think these thoughts so often that, through repetition, I create this incredibly thick nerve pathway. I think about this so much that I create a superhighway of synaptic circuits. And then, 20 years down the road, my neural network related to diet and exercise is so ingrained and solid, that I don’t have to put any effort at all toward having these thoughts. I have to actually re-train my brain completely to have new ideas about food and my body! (Which is possible, so don’t be discouraged. :) But this makes it more obvious why changing your mind about some things isn't as easy as changing the channel on the tv!)

I guess for a long time I didn’t understand this. I just thought I would lie to myself. I would say the words I wanted to hear, “I can eat whatever I want.”(and ignore how I felt) until I believed it. But maybe I can save you some time here. I realized that even with the best intentions, changing my thoughts about food and exercise would take some time and effort. So I decided to work WITH my internal voice (or gut feeling), instead of trying to drown it out! I actually consider it glorious communication from a wiser part of me that will guide me if I simply listen. For me, this communication often comes in ‘gut feelings’, so I started using my gut a gauge of my current beliefs.

And after I figured this out, an amazing thing happened. -- I still held the intention that I can change my beliefs. I still held onto faith that I am a remarkable creator. I still knew I had control of my life experience. I just chose to work with myself where I am now. I realized I was wanting to jump from A to Z, but my gut (or inner voice) was trying to help me get there in the only way possible, from A to B to C to D…you get my point. So, once the light bulb clicked on, and I started trusting my gut feelings, I started going to the gym again because I admitted I actually LIKE the gym. And guess what, it’s fun and I love it! And guess what else, I burn so many calories that I really can pretty much eat whatever I want and I still look good! Go figure! So you see, I am slowly changing my beliefs to the ones that I want! It is working like magic! I wanted to exercise only when if it was fun and I wanted to eat what I want! And here I am!

I really think I am onto something here. :)

I may never completely stop worrying about food and exercise, but I’m in a great place. I love the exercise I do, I eat what I like, and I wouldn’t trade my body for any other in the world! Honestly. And I finally figured out I can’t lie to myself or jump straight from A to Z! You see, I started listening to my inner guidance from within, and not only do I see the body I want in the mirror, I am also one step closer to having my ideal life! Amazing. :)

I've finally got it figured out. I think! :)

I’d like to start by saying that I am honored that many great people are reading my blog and offering me encouraging feedback. It means more than I can say. I love you guys!

I’d like to go back to something I mentioned previously. I said I wouldn’t focus much on this, and I don’t plan to, but I realized it is important that I elaborate just a little on body image related to my ideal life. If it was possible to get paid to obsess about body image, well, I’d already be a millionaire, guaranteed! And this seems like an important topic to discuss because who is NOT concerned with their body image? I really don’t know. I admire those people if they are out there. I’m sure there are some, and they probably look great because they aren’t creating a flawed body by worrying about having a flawed body!

I have thought about this subject, and talked about it, and obsessed about it since I was 17 years old (all the while, having a body that many women would be elated to have.) I don’t know where this obsession stemmed from. My poor friends have listened to me for years drone on and on about my latest fixation – low-fat diet, Adkins diet, grapefruit diet, kickboxing, Tai-bo, Pilates, yoga, yada, yada, yada. And I was halfway aware that I was the skinny girl who probably annoyed people – but I was so obsessed with the topic that I couldn’t help but talk about it. If I stood outside of myself for a moment, I knew I was being ridiculous, but I didn’t know how to “change my mind”.

Once I realized I create my reality, and certainly my body, by my thoughts and beliefs, I thought this would be an easy thing to fix. I identified the thoughts that I didn’t want, like “I can’t eat that.” or “I HAVE to go to the gym.” etc. And I decided to have new thoughts that I liked better like, “I can eat whatever I want.” and “I won’t exercise unless it is something really fun and I really want to!” And I decided that was that, easy as pie!

See, I was just sure that my body would be perfect because I would hold the vision and MAKE myself believe that my body is perfect, no matter what! I thought I would tell myself that, if I want to, I can eat chocolate drizzled on everything. And even if I eat bacon with every meal I will still be healthy and look great! Oh, I was excited about this. A perfect body and all I had to do all along was change my beliefs about food and exercise and how those affect my body! Yippy!

Right?

Well, I do believe it IS that easy. I think it IS possible if I really, truly believed it. But, as it turns out, I didn’t really believe it! I mentioned before that I learned real quickly how difficult it can be for me to UNDO beliefs that aren’t working for me. And hopefully, this year that will be less of a problem for me. But let me tell ya, I wrestled with this set of beliefs ALL the time – and I lost!

But, I finally got it worked out! Tomorrow I’m going to tell you my secret! I imagine you’re on pins and needles. :) I don’t have a lot of stuff figured out in life – but maybe I’m onto something with this one!

I wanted to do a little reflection today since I have nearly been at this for a month. I haven’t been blogging for a month, but I have been in the “mindset” of creating what I want for a month. I gotta say, stopping the constant mindless chatter in my head (over, quite often, irrelevant, pointless nonsense) is proving to be a little challenging!! I catch myself several times throughout the day thinking, “Why, why am I thinking about this!? Somebody STOP me!!”

And, furthermore, I have recently been caught up in more drama than I can ever remember being caught in before! Now, I am a story teller. By that I mean, I can retell a story (which I always do) and so people think there is always something exciting happening to me. But in truth, my life seems to be pretty even keeled. I mean, I seem to always be in the same mood. I tend to be pretty happy all the time. On the low end of the scale, I am content. And all of the sudden, I am surrounded by people and situations and I feel like I am riding Disney’s Space Mountain (you know the crazy a*s rollercoaster in the DARK!)

I found it kind of fun, at first. I mean, this is living right? If it stings, you can feel it! And it isn’t as if it is permanent damage. It is more like bungee jumping (without the actual risk of dying if your cord is too long). I would just be in a conversation, and it was as if I had bungee jumped off a bridge! I would get a rush of adrenalin, I felt fear, and even wanted to scream. And in the next minute, I would shake it off and almost want to do it again!

I recognize I was attracting the drama and choosing to engage. And if you think about it, I imagine that is why we are HERE. If you operate under the assumption, as I do, that we are here to engage in the drama of this plane of matter, so that we can learn, evolve, and grow, well then, I say, LET’S DO IT! And I found it fun for a minute. But then I realized that this is actually how some people live most of the time! Really, they don’t unhook the bungee cord from their ankles. As near as I can tell, they just keep on jumpin’ all the time! Well, EEEEK! I need some stable ground and a cup of coffee!

Anyway, my words of wisdom for the day, “I doubt you can create your ideal situation when you are flying through the air screaming.” So, ride the drama train for a minute or two, ‘cause its fun. But then, GET OFF! :)

Today, I’d like to go talk a little more about this lottery goal of mine. If you know me, you may know I’ve been refining this goal for a while. I started buying lottery tickets as soon as I turned 18. I bought tickets almost every week when I was young. And I almost never checked my tickets. Yep, that’s right, I never even checked my tickets! Maybe if any unclaimed winning lottery tickets were sold in the early ‘90’s in Florida, I actually already won the lottery! Isn’t that funny? I guess I didn’t REALLY believe I would ever win! I don’t know why I even bought the tickets. Maybe I was addicted to the hope.

I always held on to the new American dream, “What if I won the lottery?” But when I started really studying about religion, spirituality, quantum physics, brain functions, hormones, etc.; when I started to really consider that perhaps I design my life through thoughts; I started taking the idea of winning the lottery more seriously. I actually realized when I sat down and thought about it, that I really believed the odds were too astronomical and there was no way I could win the lottery.

But I started to try to convince myself that I could create this if I really wanted to. And then I had to decide if I really wanted to! Have you ever really sat and put much thought toward that? It is amazing that you’ll discover a few buried fears about this. Well, at least I did. I mean, I didn’t really want my entire life to change, but certainly tons of money changes your life considerably. And do I want that change? What if people only like me for my money? What if people write me letters and tell me their sad stories so I will give them my money? How much will my family expect? How much will my friends expect? What if I die of guilt when I pass a homeless person? I grappled with all of these thoughts and wondered if I really wanted the lottery after all!

And after a great deal of time, I decided that the pros of winning outweighed the cons, so I moved forward with my vision of me holding a winning ticket! Of course, I didn’t REALLY believe it for a very long time. I have mentioned how hard it is to undo limiting beliefs for me. And I realized that I have identified with being poor my entire life. How do you go from seeing yourself as poor to seeing yourself as rich? For me, it takes a lot of time! It takes some soul searching and paying attention to what I say and what I think about, and I am still fairly bad at it. Hence the reason why I haven’t won yet, I suppose! But I’ve never given up trying to convince myself I can win the lottery.

I’ve made baby-step progress. I went from completely disbelieving I could win the lottery, to just doubting. Then I moved from doubting to hoping. Then hope turned into actual consideration. And that consideration turned into glimpses of knowing. And that is a strong confession. That is a brave statement, I think. Because as quickly as I KNOW that I can manifest a winning lottery ticket, I retract back into that shell of doubt, which extinguishes my knowing. Maybe I fall back into that social consciousness that just doesn’t believe this is possible, or maybe I just fall back into my own lack of faith. But I STILL have moments of clarity and knowing. And THAT is where I would like to hold my attention this year.

Now, I should say (and this isn’t a cop out if I just happen to fail at producing) that I don’t actually believe that my PATH to happiness HAS to be winning the lottery. As I stated previously, the lottery is a means to an end. My ‘end’ is to inspire people, to remind people of their power, and to live by example. And I know I can consider myself a success without winning the lottery. However, think of the Wow Factor! it would produce if I believed with every fiber of my being that I could win the lottery simply by knowing it, and I did it! That would be SO incredible! Imagine the ramifications! Imagine what people would produce, if they knew they only have to dream it long enough for it to travel through this plane of space and time we’ve submerged ourselves in! Then their dream is reality! How exciting, right?

I really believe this. It rings true to me all the way down to my tiniest cells. I draw up this game plan! I decide the players, the field, the rules, the time, if I win or lose!! I decide it all because this is MY game! All I have to do is dream it until I KNOW it! What a miracle!

And who doesn’t love miracles?

PS. What’s your game plan?

More Goals

So, continuing on with what I plan to accomplish this year which would qualify as my producing my ideal life... I should say that I already have created so much of this. For example, I have the happiest child who taught me about love, the most supportive mother, the best friends, rewarding work, a comfortable home, good health, etc. And I feel like I had to really visualize most of these things in order to materialize them.

For example, I go through periods of my life (okay, nearly 80% of my life) where I am obsessing about food and exercise. I have struggled with this my entire life, which is completely ridiculous because I’m actually very genetically gifted and I’m always fairly physically fit, if not very fit. It is such an odd problem that I’ve struggled with since I can remember, and it has taught me a great deal about how challenging it can be to change “sponsoring thoughts” Undoing beliefs that aren’t producing what I want CAN be difficult for me, but I think that is because I have doubts in my abilities as a creator. It is my goal that once I dig down and find the belief or expectation that is producing some undesired results in my life, that I KNOW it is easy to alter that thought in my head, and a new/better belief is nearly instantaneous. How about THAT for heaven on earth? But currently, I’m not having any issues in the area of my health or body image, so I won’t focus on this much. My point being, I think I’ve done the work mentally to create this part of my ideal life already.

And another noteworthy example, I very consciously held a vision of working well with my ex-husband, even during times that it seemed completely impossible. I can remember lying on the floor crying, wishing I could just sleep for a year or so until I woke up and everything was better. And with my face on the ground, I would picture him and me in a conversation, smiling, even laughing. This was such a far fetched idea, but I forced myself to have it. And that is exactly what I have. I am nearly moved to tears sometimes – tears of joy – because I couldn’t ask for an easier situation than what I have now. And it has been this easy for years. Of course, he gets half the credit for it being so easy. I am just saying that some areas of my life are so obvious for me to see how I’ve already created what I want. And I don’t have to do any more work in these areas.

By the way, do this if you’ve never taken the time. Sit down and consider how you got where you are. Try to follow the thoughts, beliefs, and expectations that got you what you have today. I highly recommend this. This is the first step in helping you understand that you have complete control over your life, which leads to the exciting realization that since you’ve created your current situation, you can create any situation you want!

And I won’t go into this much right now, but understand that if you find serious hurdles in your life, like loss, death, illness, tragedy, etc. I believe these challenges provide us with maybe the only REAL opportunity to figure out what kind of people we really are. The largest hurdles provide us with the chance to see how high we can really jump. “That which doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.” So consider that you may have created (and the Universe provided) opportunities for you to prove your own strength to yourself. And this often comes in the form of a sh*t storm! So please don’t be discouraged by the challenges you find yourself facing, and don't let go of the idea that you can create countless wonderful situations in your life if you choose!

So back to what I want for this year. I mentioned the lottery thing and that would be great. But suppose the Universe wants me to gain my financial freedom in some other way; I’d like to get on with that this year! I’m not asking to be able to purchase an island here. I am college educated, I teach at-risk students for a non-profit organization, and I’m pretty sure I qualify for food stamps! I know I don’t have any insurance or benefits. I’ve done some serious reflection in this area with regard to WHY I’ve created a situation where I struggle to make ends meet on a monthly basis. My current work is, by far, the most rewarding work I’ve ever done. I think my own personal identification with being poor is so ingrained deep within me that I struggle to release that. Or maybe I feel like a better person because I help people and don’t do it for the money. Whatever this ‘sponsoring thought’ is, I’d like to remove it from my mind and replace it with one that serves me better! I’m ready to be compensated for my work and energy, so I’d like to work on that this year.

I want to fill my life with more like-minded people. I have great friends now. But people are the most important aspect of life, in my opinion, so I could always use more. And by like-minded, I guess I mean people who don’t judge and who allow me to be whatever I choose to be. I’d like to surround myself with people who reflect goodness back to me, who see good in me. I think I offer this, so it is fair that I ask for it in return! :)

I want an ideal partner for me. I’m an idealist. I’m not sure if that is good or bad. I don’t expect to find a “perfect” situation, but I’d like to find someone who fits with me. I’m not listing a bunch of attributes here because I didn’t plan this to be a dating service! I’d just like to let go of people who aren’t great for me as soon as I know it and open myself to find someone who is great for me. This is high on my priority list. (You may get a good kick out of watching me bumble and stumble through attempting to reach this goal this year! It is often funny, ugly, exciting and somewhat scary, but I always learn something valuable! Besides, this year I plan to get it right!)

I want to convince myself I am getting younger, and hopefully my appearance and attitude will reflect this. Yeah, THIS is going to be interesting. But just imagine how remarkable if I succeed!!

I want clear, accurate communication from Spirit. I say Spirit meaning my Higher Self, spirit guides, angels, God, nature…anything like that. I already have some incredible communication that I may share at some point when I am feeling brave, but I am not 100% sure it is accurate! I don’t have the faith I need in myself or the process or whatever, so even though I get positive, encouraging, helpful messages that guide me in the right direction, I also have a bag full of doubts to go with that. I’d like to release those doubts and trust this guidance.

I guess that’s it. It didn’t take long to put down in words, but I’ve put a great deal on my plate! Lottery, get younger, find my ideal partner, and communicate with something or someone (or many) who have a broader perspective and who can help me (and maybe you too, if I’m brave enough to share) create a happy life! Yeah, WOW!

I can do this!! I can do this! I can do this! (It helps to picture the Little Engine That Could here!)

(PS. I pull some pics from the visionboard at Tut.com -- I love those guys! You should check it out and sign up for them Messages from the Universe -- brilliant stuff!)

Goal Number One

So, I was starting today with listing my goals for the year. I wonder if this is easy for some people. I keep thinking, “I know this process really works – visualizing from within – but I might just be really horrible at it, and what if I fail miserably in the public eye?” How’s that for a dose of positive attitude!

I’m goin’ in! I’m doin’ this! I feel like I’m at the top of a waterfall and it is time to jump! Cowabunga Dude! (Did I just quote a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?)

Goal #1
I want to create a lot of money, ideally, by winning the lottery.
Now before you say, “No sh*t!” I want to clarify myself on this point. Sure, I’d like the freedom, options, and opportunities that come with a lot of money. But I have different fueling factors behind wanting to win the lottery. I chose this method of attaining lots of money by the sheer recognition I would get. Let me explain. What does NEARLY EVERYONE say? “If I won the lottery, I would…” Almost everyone dreams of this, fantasizes about this, considers this. Now, just what if – what if I set my mind, my meditations, my visions to winning the lottery and I do it. Sure, there will be a handful of people who will call that coincidence, but maybe many other people will consider that I really made it happen! Even if I only inspired one person to dream bigger, reach higher, try for more --- I would feel successful! I just envision me on the cover of my book How I Won the Lottery (or something catchier than that with the same meaning!). How many people do you think might crack that book open? And ultimately, they may become empowered. They may remember their natural-given abilities to create. They may TRY and succeed. THIS is my dream! THIS fuels me more than anything, ever. I envision a world where everyone dreams of their ideal life and actually does the “mental” work to get it done.

And actually, no one really needs to win the lottery if they knew they could just set their mind on the thing they plan on getting with the lottery. And imagine the competition you’d have once my book went on the national bestseller list!! You’d have to be the best focuser over everyone playing the lottery – and what are the odds?? :) But let’s say you just focus on what you want to gain from winning the lottery. No one wants just the paper with the matching numbers, they want the something they think they can have after that! So what is that? And focus on that! You want to win the lottery so you can see all the World Wonders? So just picture you at those places. Or you want the lottery so you can buy your dream home and dream car? – so just picture yourself with those.

And actually, I think if you play it out in your mind, as I have countless times, and you think about what happens after you have your winning lottery ticket. I think you’ll find after you buy some things and see some places, you’ll eventually get back to trying to figure out what you can do with yourself that you LOVE. Maybe you want to start a magazine or open a bridal shop or open a bakery, because you LOVE doing that thing. It excites you. It doesn’t feel like work! You are ultimately going to come back to figuring out what you want to do with yourself that is fulfilling and gratifying for you. Sure, I guess there would be those people that just spend crazy amounts of money on anything and don’t really consider spending their money on a grander personal purpose – and we’ve seen those people on TV, Won the Lottery; Now Bankrupt! (Please forgive me if this happened to you and it wasn’t your circumstance.) But ultimately, the lottery really boils down to choices and freedom. And what if we knew we had that without winning the lottery. What if we understood that this was our God-given ability – to create anything and everything we can possibly imagine and hold our thoughts on? I hope I prove this to you. Because, you see, I feel that my grander purpose is to teach and to inspire. And hopefully, if you know me, you already know this!

And even though I shared with you that I want to win the lottery. I understand that I will have achieved my goal if I have freedom, options, and opportunities at the end of this year, because those things come in other forms than just a little ticket with numbers matching the numbers of the balls. But more importantly, I will have won the lottery if someone out there follows me through this year, sees how I created a life I love, and gains a little better understanding that we all decide, we all create, we all get to choose our own ideal reality – and if we believe, expect and keep an eye on the prize, we get it!

Tomorrow, more goals! Yep, I have more!

What do YOU want??

Creating My Ideal Life or My Own Heaven on Earth

When I was first introduced to the idea that my thoughts become my life, or for short, Thoughts Become Things (thank you for Mike Dooley’s catchy phrase, short and to the point!), I wondered what sort of life would I like to have – so I could get started thinking about it! But once I was over denying I would produce some of the crap that was, in fact, a part of my reality; and once I could sort of see how my current thoughts led me to my current situation, THEN I was excited at the prospect of creating something GREAT!

But what??

Before we talk about MY ideal life, I would like you to consider for a minute that I may be right – and all the people studying quantum physics, countless spiritual teachers since recorded history, and many, many others may be onto something! Our lives are exact creations of our thoughts, expectations, beliefs, fantasies, fears – anything we focus on and feel strongly about. (And unfortunately, it works both ways; you get what you think about whether you think about what you want or if you think about what you don’t want.) So once you roll this idea around in your head for a little bit, what do you want to focus on? What do you want to think about, and get excited about, until it’s sitting right in front of you? Maybe you should try this with me!

I’m sure some people have absolutely no idea what their ideal life looks like! I’d say many people haven’t even considered it. This may be because they don’t think a perfect life is a real option, or they can’t see the “hows”, so they don’t bother with the imagining. Some people may not feel like they deserve it or they are worthy of it. Some people simply can’t make up their mind for long enough to actually produce something! I’m sure there are countless reasons why people haven’t thought about what their “Heaven on Earth” looks like.

Yeah, maybe you should go on this journey with me! You produce your ideal life and I’ll produce mine, and we’ll be the “evidence” that others need so that they’ll try it for themselves!

My goal was originally to share my journey with you – as I produce what I want or as I produce what I don’t want (if I think about what I don’t want more than I think about on what I want!!). My goal was to document here what I create, good, bad, ugly, or spectacular! I wanted this form of communication to be my fuel to keep my thoughts focused on what I want and not the other mindless chatter that fills most of my waking hours. But, I realize that this very medium can serve my larger purpose, which is to remind people that they have control of their lives. My overall life goal is to empower people through example that they can live remarkable lives, even though starting this blog was just to give me some motivation to tackle the smaller goal of focusing! So maybe I’ll kill two goals with one blog! :)

Ummm, anyway, I guess I’m going to have to share what my Heaven on Earth looks like, so you can know if I create it or not. Eeeek, this is a little scary! Once I say it, I’m gonna need some proof for my pudding, so to speak!! My biggest fear is that I will sound all gung ho and focused during the blog, but all the other hours of the day I won’t be focused on what I want at all. Then I’ll have to be honest when at the end of this year, I either have nothing I said I wanted, or even worse, I have the opposite of that! That is my worst fear! Like for example, I could say I want a new car and end up trading my old one for a bike! I don’t really want a new car, I’m just sayin’!! Once I put the goals out there – I feel like I can’t just skate by anymore. My life is fine. It’s actually mostly good. But I want it to be EXCEPTIONAL! Don’t we all? Sometimes we set it so far on the back burner that we can’t even remember when we had dreams of being spectacular, but I think it is all down there inside of all of us. And, although I am getting’ younger :) , I might as well get on with being something great!

So, tomorrow, confessing goals! You think of yours tonight too! We have focusing to do!

Day One

Hello! My name is Miachel (it is pronounced My Shel). Welcome to my blog! It just recently occurred to me that I should start my own blog. I am actually fairly technologically ignorant and I feel guilty if I spend too much time on the computer, so blogging hadn’t crossed my mind in the past. However, I rented Julie and Julia, the movie about the woman who blogs her way through making all the recipes in Julia Child’s cookbook – and lo’ and behold! I was inspired! I haven’t done any research or prep work for blogging, I’m just going in, head first. So if you are a well-wisher, you might wish me luck! Hopefully, blogging is a fairly simple process and all I have to do is come up with interesting posts!

I actually have a planned (and I use the term loosely) topic! I have been toying around with some ideas for years. I say toying, but I guess I take them quite seriously – I just get “caught up” in life too often and these ideas take the back burner. So, I figured that a blog would sort of entice me to move forward. I mean, even if I have just one reader, I hope I feel a sort of obligation to do what I said I would do – and this will keep my ‘motivation ball’ rolling! So, yes, this is an attempt to keep me focused and on track! As well as, perhaps unexpected surprises will come about also, like I meet some like-minded friends or someone offers up a healthy debate to keep me on my toes! It feels like a good idea, so I’m rolling with it!

So here are the nuts and bolts of my “plan” for the year 2010. I’m going to sort of combine a few ideas into one jumbled up creative project/stew! This year I want to focus on, 1) creating my own personal ideal life (or “Heaven on Earth”), 2) tapping into the wisdom of my Spiritual guidance that lies within me, and 3) debunking the myths of aging. If you are thinking this is a lot to tackle in one year – well, I agree! But I’m ready! I didn’t just start this today, I have spent years researching, reading, studying, contemplating, meditating on, journaling about…you get the idea. I have laid the groundwork, so to speak. And I can tell you, that you can read all you want, but if you never make any internal changes, the years just pass and nothing much changes externally either. So I’m ready!

Whereas I am thrilled to be motivated by the idea of readers interested in my progress, I have some teeny reservations about blogging. Blogging is actually like giving a piece of yourself away without knowing who you are giving it to, or if they will be gentle with you! I wish I could say that I’m as solid as a rock and I cannot be discouraged by doubters as I wade through the waters of my personal adventure of life, and maybe I can’t. Hopefully, I can’t! I just want to explore, learn, grow, figure something out for myself, and mostly, hopefully, inspire someone out there to do the same too. I know not everyone will agree with me. Believe me, I know. And I’m perfectly fine with that. I guess I have some tiny fears, but ultimately I’m just excited at the idea of doing something great this year and sharing that with you.

I may challenge your way of thinking. But if it isn’t entirely offensive to you, stick with me for a bit. You see, to some people my ideas are as natural as roasting marshmallows while camping or buying popcorn at the movies; and to others, my ideas are as foreign as people being born with four sets of eyes or cats walking backwards. And honestly, most people probably fall somewhere in the middle of believing and disbelieving what I plan to present here. Hell, I’m just trying to figure most of this out, so I can relate to anyone’s stance on my ideas. I would just like to say that I can only follow what feels real inside of me. For as long as I could remember, my mother told me that I create my reality. I didn’t really get that when I was young. And when I was in my twenties and early thirties, I didn’t really believe it. Then, one day it made sense to me. I found many books that supported this theory. It is certainly becoming a mainstream idea since such movies as The Secret or What the Bleep is Down the Rabbit Hole. I will certainly mention my most valued authors and teachers here, at some point, and they operate under the assumption (some even say ‘law’) that we are our own personal creators of the very life we lead. All of it. Not parts of it, or moments of it, or shades of it -- all of it! I like the analogy that I read recently that our lives are created within us, and then that creation is projected outward so that our inner world may be interpreted by our senses. And what we see in our exterior world is a perfect replication of what is within us. This is uncomfortable for some people to hear because they see a lot of crap in their lives and they don’t wish to think that they created such things. And I will address this more at a later time, but think of the beauty and empowerment you feel when you realize that NOW THAT YOU KNOW – you can create anything you want!

I’m hoping to prove to myself, and to you, if you so choose to embark on this journey with me, that these aren’t myths. These are truths. And we can be happier and healthier and live longer when we realize that WE decide what our life is – what our reality is! I am going to try hard to maintain focus on creating my own personal heaven on earth, altering my own personal signs of aging, and utilizing my spiritual guidance from within this year. This is my year. This is our year. If I can prove to myself, and consequently prove to even one other person who’s reading, that we can be or do or have anything in the world that we so choose, then this documentation will be worth it!