Today, I’d like to go talk a little more about this lottery goal of mine. If you know me, you may know I’ve been refining this goal for a while. I started buying lottery tickets as soon as I turned 18. I bought tickets almost every week when I was young. And I almost never checked my tickets. Yep, that’s right, I never even checked my tickets! Maybe if any unclaimed winning lottery tickets were sold in the early ‘90’s in Florida, I actually already won the lottery! Isn’t that funny? I guess I didn’t REALLY believe I would ever win! I don’t know why I even bought the tickets. Maybe I was addicted to the hope.

I always held on to the new American dream, “What if I won the lottery?” But when I started really studying about religion, spirituality, quantum physics, brain functions, hormones, etc.; when I started to really consider that perhaps I design my life through thoughts; I started taking the idea of winning the lottery more seriously. I actually realized when I sat down and thought about it, that I really believed the odds were too astronomical and there was no way I could win the lottery.

But I started to try to convince myself that I could create this if I really wanted to. And then I had to decide if I really wanted to! Have you ever really sat and put much thought toward that? It is amazing that you’ll discover a few buried fears about this. Well, at least I did. I mean, I didn’t really want my entire life to change, but certainly tons of money changes your life considerably. And do I want that change? What if people only like me for my money? What if people write me letters and tell me their sad stories so I will give them my money? How much will my family expect? How much will my friends expect? What if I die of guilt when I pass a homeless person? I grappled with all of these thoughts and wondered if I really wanted the lottery after all!

And after a great deal of time, I decided that the pros of winning outweighed the cons, so I moved forward with my vision of me holding a winning ticket! Of course, I didn’t REALLY believe it for a very long time. I have mentioned how hard it is to undo limiting beliefs for me. And I realized that I have identified with being poor my entire life. How do you go from seeing yourself as poor to seeing yourself as rich? For me, it takes a lot of time! It takes some soul searching and paying attention to what I say and what I think about, and I am still fairly bad at it. Hence the reason why I haven’t won yet, I suppose! But I’ve never given up trying to convince myself I can win the lottery.

I’ve made baby-step progress. I went from completely disbelieving I could win the lottery, to just doubting. Then I moved from doubting to hoping. Then hope turned into actual consideration. And that consideration turned into glimpses of knowing. And that is a strong confession. That is a brave statement, I think. Because as quickly as I KNOW that I can manifest a winning lottery ticket, I retract back into that shell of doubt, which extinguishes my knowing. Maybe I fall back into that social consciousness that just doesn’t believe this is possible, or maybe I just fall back into my own lack of faith. But I STILL have moments of clarity and knowing. And THAT is where I would like to hold my attention this year.

Now, I should say (and this isn’t a cop out if I just happen to fail at producing) that I don’t actually believe that my PATH to happiness HAS to be winning the lottery. As I stated previously, the lottery is a means to an end. My ‘end’ is to inspire people, to remind people of their power, and to live by example. And I know I can consider myself a success without winning the lottery. However, think of the Wow Factor! it would produce if I believed with every fiber of my being that I could win the lottery simply by knowing it, and I did it! That would be SO incredible! Imagine the ramifications! Imagine what people would produce, if they knew they only have to dream it long enough for it to travel through this plane of space and time we’ve submerged ourselves in! Then their dream is reality! How exciting, right?

I really believe this. It rings true to me all the way down to my tiniest cells. I draw up this game plan! I decide the players, the field, the rules, the time, if I win or lose!! I decide it all because this is MY game! All I have to do is dream it until I KNOW it! What a miracle!

And who doesn’t love miracles?

PS. What’s your game plan?